Secrets, Pain and Love
by BreBre16
Summary: What happens after the team escapes from the replicator? Will Garcia at last open up to Morgan for her feelings for him and how will he and the team react when they hear her astonishing news? Find Out! *First Fic* Rated M for abuse and language
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

They just barely escaped alive. Rossi had let them out of the pressure- sensitive locked room where they would have inevitably exploded had it not been for him. They were standing outside the house owned by The Replicator. It was ablaze and according to Rossi, he had locked the unsub in another pressure-sensitive room. That was enough for the team.

They felt all the pressure that they had been carrying for the last 9 months escape. Although they were profilers, they could all see the visible signs of relief radiating from one another.

Garcia, however was still at FBI Headquarters, sitting in here office with one very clingy, Kevin Lynch. She would never say this out loud, but in all honesty, Kevin Lynch had been a very big help in cracking this case. She was still visibly nervous as she always got when her team went out on a raid.

Then she got a call from her one and only chocolate thunder. "BabyGirl, it me" relief evident in his voice.

"OH my God, Derek! I haven't heard from anyone in hours! I've been trying everyones cells but theres no answer! I've left you guys about 20 messages each! How could you just answer me now! Like honestly I was..." She was rambling and Derek knew that he would have cut in or shew wouldn't stop.

"BabyGirl, Penelope, we are all okay but we are just a little out of range at the moment. We were ensuring that the replicator died in the fire." He said calmly and reassuringly.

"The Replicator is dead? And what fire? Is everyone alright?" She was still inquiring when she was cut off again.

"Penelope, we are unsure if he died in the explosion that he rigged. We are all fine and are on our way back to Quantico as we speak, we all need rest and we can't do much now that the CSI team are there."

"Oh thank God! I don't know what I would of done if any of you died, I mean your all like family to seeming as you are technically my only family given that my brothers are the biggest assholes on the face of this earth, but whatever your all safe so I couldn't give a rats ass about them. Whoever said that blood runs thicker than water should come check on my family because all I know is that..." she was about to continue to rampage on about her mysterious brothers that no one knew about but he felt like that wasn't a conversation to have over the phone.

"Hey, Hey, Hey! What is with the sudden animosity towards your brothers?" Derek inquired wondering if she would give him insight into her childhood, still aware that he wasn't too keen on having this conversation over the phone with the team in the background.

"I don't know its just... I don't know. Can we talk about this later? I'd rather talk about you."

Curious as to what she wanted to talk to him about he started the conversation, reminding himself not to forget the other conversation. "Okay baby, sure what do you want to talk about?" Wondering if this had anything to do with having feelings for one another he eagerly pressed on "Anything you want to talk about in particular?"

"Well my darling, there actually is but I don't believe that to be appropriate for phone conversation. But we will have to have to discuss this later because my sweet, you have been kept in the dark about some intriguing information that I hope I won't chicken out about telling you."

Derek didn't know what to say but started "Well my sexy tech kitten, why don't you go to my house and let yourself in. I will be home in about twenty minutes but I presume that we have to talk."

"Okay lovey, but don't forget that it is a crime to keep a goddess waiting." She flirted.

"I wouldn't dream of it beautiful." he answered confidently then whispered "bye Garcia"

She answered back a second later with "Bye love you" The hung up abruptly. Dumbfounded, he stared at the phone as if it could give him the answers that he longed for.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Derek couldn't make it to his house fast enough. The moment he got to FBI Headquarters, he ran to the parking garage, forgetting about his stack of paperwork that would be bigger by morning. Hotch had given the team the rest of the week off, and explicitly said that all paperwork can wait until Monday. Derek was relieved, especially since he was in such a hurry to see his goddess after her last comment.

He wondered how she meant by it. Did she actually have those feelings? Derek felt that she would never go for a guy like him because of his track record, but he always had feelings for her from the first day that they met and he called her Gomez.

He got to his house and noticed Penelope's car in the driveway. He directly parked behind hers so that if she did chicken out she couldn't drive home without asking Derek to move his SUV. He speed walked to the front door and used his key to get in. He reset the security alarm and called out for Penelope.

She was sitting on his couch in the living room, watching a rerun of Law and Order SVU when he called out "Hey baby girl I'm home want a beer or wine or something stronger?"

She chimed back a little nervously "Umm Vodka and orange or peach juice if you have it?"

When he came back to where she was seated he saw her snuggled up with a blanket sitting cross-legged on his couch obviously deeply intrigued in the show. He the broke her attention from the show saying "You know we see this on a daily basis and to a higher degree. Only you could watch a crime scene show after getting home from solving a murder case," He chuckled.

"I've watched this show ever since it came out and I record all of the episodes on DVR. So tell me, have you seen this episode?" she said suspiciously.

"Honestly no because every time this show is on, I'm busy and I don't like watching shows in the middle of seasons and not knowing the story lines of the characters and I usually don't have time for TV." He responded.

"Good. The you Mister Big Bad Profiler are going to teach me something or at least show me something, because I never see you doing it because I am always in Quantico and not in the field."She said.

He was confused. What did she want him to teach her. Theres not really much that she didn't know or couldn't figure out. So he inquired "Ok baby anything. What do you want me to teach or show you?"

She the rewinded the show to shortly after the it started, she then paused it at looked at Derek square in the eyes and said, "I would never want to do your job, but I can't deny that I'm curious as to how you take in a scene and profile the unsubs. Also I have never seen you or any of the team do this thats not in the profile briefing, so what I want you to do, and please remember that you agreed to anything, is to look at the crime scene and profile the unsub because I am honestly curious."

He laughed. Did she really just ask him to profile a TV show? But he looked deeper into her eyes and saw an underlying reason. He knew that it was just for her edification, so he decided to humour her. "Ok but do understand that this is a TV show and it is not entirely accurate."

"Ok go!' She pressed play and they watched the murder of a young girl obviously in her teens, she was raped and died from a blow to the head. The cops said that she was a Jane Doe. Derek payed close attention then nodded at Penelope which was her silent cue to pause it.

Derek looked a her and told her the profile, and gave her a complete lesson on profiling and what are telling signs. At the end of it she clapped for the lesson that he put on and they sat down and watched the rest of the episode to see if he was right, which of course he was. During the episode they cuddled and Derek told her what was fake and what elements were real.

At the end of it, their drinks were empty and Penelope turned to Derek. She knew that she had to say something, it was late and they both needed to sleep. Derek looked at her with a calm expression. He inched his face closer to her, giving her plenty of time to back out, but she didn't. Then their lips met in an eager, and passionate kiss that contained every emotion that they ever felt for one another.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Wow" Penelope gasped as they broke apart both gasping for air. "That was just...wow...I've never...wow." she rambled trying to find the right words to describe what she had just experienced.

Derek looked at her with an amused expression "I think that will get us to the conversation that we need to have. That is what you wanted me to come over to discuss, right?"

"Well, actually yes. But I was scared to chicken out like I have so many other times before. I guess I can't now, after feeling how wow that kiss was." she said nervousness evident in her tone.

"I always wanted to tell you Pen, but I was always scared that you would reject me. Now, however, I am going to be completely honest with you... I love you with all my heart Baby girl. You are my God given solace, my light, my everything. I don't know where I would be without you, but I do know that I want to be yours. Your boyfriend, your man, and one day your husband and father of our children. I want you forever and always Pen. I love you. I don't know how you feel but after you said 'I love you' before you hung up the phone I thought that you really needed to know how I feel."

Penelope was shocked by Derek's confession of love. She really didn't know what to expect when she said that comment before hanging up the phone. But at the moment she was relived that she did otherwise none of this would be happening. Realizing that he was sitting there waiting for an answer she looked deep into his eyes and said "I have loved you from the first time I laid eyes on you. I dreamt of this moment, of our first kiss and believe me that no dream or fantasy has ever done it justice. I love you so much and I want all of what you said. I want our forever, together with children and everything, the whole 9 yards. Honey, I want you please."

"Penelope, could I take you to dinner tomorrow. On our first real date?" Derek spoke nervously, but still exerting confidence. He was waiting for a reply when she just nodded her head. Then he dove at her gathering their lips into another tongue tangling kiss.

When they pulled away twenty minutes later, penelope felt exhausted. The last twenty-four hours had caught up with her and it was just after midnight. She yawned and snuggled up to her new boyfriend, sleep already beginning to overtake her body.

Derek noticed this and picked Penelope up gently, and carrying her to the master suite like a baby. He tucked her in and then climbed in beside her in his plaid pajama pants. She stirred very little but the rolled over to face Derek and cuddled with his bare yet firm chest. He looked at her and gave her a kiss on the forehead whispering, "Goodnight my Penelope. Sleep well."

About 2 hours later Derek awoke to hear a screaming Penelope, who was violently twisting in her sleep. He immediately awoke and sat up rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He looked at her and noticed that her forehead was drenched in sweat and the pillow with her tears. She was obviously having a nightmare, which was not uncommon in their line of work.

The he heard her mumble something that sounded like "No, no, no! Leave me alone!" he heard her again except this time she was screaming again saying something different, "How can you do this! No! No! Don't! I'm your sister you jealous son of a bitch! Ahhhh! No don't! Mom! Dad! Help me!" Derek had heard enough and began calling out her name, trying to wake her up. She called out for help, but why? And what did her brother have to do with anything? She was going to have to explain this to him later, she was obviously suffering from a past trauma involving her brothers, but to what extent?

Penelope woke up after that. Her heart racing from another horrible nightmare about her brothers. She usually had one roughly 3 times a week and had never told anyone about them, except the look on Derek's face said that she was going to be telling him soon enough. This she was not looking forward to.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Baby I'm fine, honestly I'm just really tired and I need a really good nights sleep, please." What she was doing was just putting off the inevitable, but she really didn't want to talk about this right now in the middle of the night. She trusted Derek impeccably, but this, this was something that she had never spoken to anyone about. Not even her therapist that she saw after her parents died. Derek was going to be the first one she told, and this was very frightening.

"Ok Sweetness, but you are going to tell me tomorrow because I can't stand to see you hurting, I love you baby." What the hell was that about. No one really knew about her life before her parents died, but how could she have hid this amount of pain from a group of the most renowned profilers in the world? He knew that he was going to have to talk to Hotch about a brush up on their skills seeing as no one could detect the night frights that their tech analyst was having, even if they were at home, their should have been some signs.

"Fine baby, I may as well tell you now seeming as my insomnia is kicking in anyways. I usually get it after I have that nightmare." This was it she was bearing her sole to the one that she truly loved.

"Baby" he said nervously, "How often do you have nightmares?" She seemed nervous and incredibly shaky. But he knew that she had to get it off of her chest now.

"This nightmare? About three times a week. But other ones that aren't as bad, maybe once a month..." She was beginning to feel liberated, she only hoped that the rest of the pain would lift.

"Penelope, what happens in you nightmares?" He knew that he had to tread lightly if he wanted her to open up. Penelope moved slightly. Her behaviour clearly stated that she was uncomfortable and it was as if she was tangling herself up in the quilt to shield herself from the pain.

"Derek, you don't know much about how I grew up and who I grew up with." She took a deep breath and the continued. "When I was 5, my mom and dad got a divorce. My dad was a workaholic and honestly, was only concerned with that. He didn't care about me or my brothers. I was the youngest and realistically, the disappointment that my brothers always had to reconcile. They blamed me for our dad leaving. Said it was my neediness that drove him to the edge. I couldn't say I disagreed with that statement either. I was the baby so I used that to my advantage and I played up the theatrics to get what I wanted, especially with daddy."

Derek could see that this was difficult for her and continued to show her support by consoling her. "Its ok baby I'm here, finish your story." He cajoled.

"Ok, but this next part is hard. The underlying reason why my dad left was because he couldn't deal with the stress of being a family man. He always loved my mom and kept in contact with her. He did anything for his children, but he did it at a distance. Meaning he was around to give presents, pay for college, when we were sick, and when we were in trouble. Dad was a lawyer and he travelled around the country to do his job. Anyways after dad left, mom remarried a man who became my stepfather. He made me call him dad." her tone noticeably changed when she began to speak about her stepfather and it was as if true hatred arose from her demeanour.

"I will always refer to him as the man who ruined my life. Once he was legally married to my mom, he seized her assets and manipulated her into being whatever he wanted. He was evil. But he hid his evil from her. He manipulated her with love made her think that he was the almighty god, when he was really an asshole. My brothers bonded with him and thought of him as their biological father. That was fine with him. He taught the boys how to fight, hunt, and how to be domineering in the face of women, this was how he controlled me." Penelope's breathing was getting heavier and Derek took notice.

"Baby, what did he do to you?" Derek was nervous to hear the rest of the story. He experienced abuse as a child and knew that it was incredibly hard to talk about.

"Well my stepfather beat me into behaving, I have a lot of scars from him and my brothers. After I went underground, I got my medical charts and it said that I had 2 organs that had to heal on their own, 3 broken bones that weren't properly healed and that I had too many scars from deep tissue cuts and 3rd degree burns..." Penelope had began crying at this as she remembered the pain she experienced as a child.

What the fuck? How the fuck did this woman pass a psych eval? Like honestly I passed mine because I googled what answers to say. Derek was seeing red he wanted to make that asshole of a stepfather and her brothers pay, but first he had to be their for Penelope. "Babe, what did they do to you? And how did you manage to pass a psych evaluation?"

"Well to be honest, I don't remember specific times that they beat me I only remember the after parts. When I...I...had to be the practice doll for my brothers...Once I was out, they would make me stay still and the would get themselves off. I mean they would touch me and make me cry out in pain. I was a tiny child and this started when my youngest brother was 14 so I would have been about 10 or 11. My oldest brother Joel was 17 he was rarely around, but when he was he would take care of me. He would wash out my wounds and give me medicine. If our stepfather found out that he was helping me he would have been severely punished, believe me I don't think that the man was opposed to murder. So he helped me in secret. My mom and him went a bit crazy after that. They started their hippy montage and didn't really notice the small thing in the lives of their children. They were there for all the important things, but neither of them realized what my other brother did to me."

Derek was dumbfounded. Who the fuck does this to a child? He was sexually abused to but he was never beaten and it was never to that extent and he was 13, a little bit older. But still, what the fuck? "Darling, I am so very sorry, is that what you dream about?"

"Yes baby. At the time I was about 14 I was a bigger. I weighed about 250pounds and I took self defence lessons. My brothers were still stronger than me but I made myself look so repulsive that they couldn't bear to sexually assault me. Plus that was the time my brothers finally moved out and the youngest one got a girlfriend. The beatings continued whenever the youngest three were home but they realized long ago that the beating had to be in places where teachers couldn't see. Thats how I got the punctured organs, and broken bones. My stepfather stopped beating me after my behaviour got into place which was when I was 11, it was less than 6 months and he whipped me into shape. The burn marks and knife scars are from when I was underground when I got into it with people, but I always won." She said the last part proudly and it brought a smile to his lips.

"Wow, I never noticed how little I knew about your past till now. Gosh baby, why didn't you tell me sooner?" He was surprised that his girl could withstand so much pain.

"Well I was scared. And now you know the real reason that I left after my mom and stepfather died. Their was nothing holding me in California, and my brothers all blamed me for our parents death. But that part you know. Anyways when we went to the funeral, we played the happy family. But when we got behind closed doors, the worst beating of my life happened. I had to be hospitalized because of it. My brothers staged it like a robbery and the cops believed it. When they showed up at the hospital, they refused to let the doctor look at any of my previous wounds, they said that they couldn't afford it and that they didn't feel it right to subject me to that kind of scrutiny based on my own clumsiness... They made me agree..Thats when I disappeared underground and you know the last part so ya..."

Derek was completely shocked by everything that he had just been told. He didn't know what to say. So he said all that he could think of, "Penelope, I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. But are you alright?" He was cared of what she might say.

"Its ok, it was a long time ago... But I think that my brothers may have found me... I got an email a couple of weeks ago from an unknown server and I traced the IP address to California, San Francisco to be exact. It said REVENGE. Derek I cut all ties to that city when I left. Thats why I asked you to teach me to profile. I need to know if I'm in danger and I don't want to tell my story to anyone else." Penelope was crying now and before she realized what was happening Derek was dialling Hotch's cell number and getting dressed. Garcia followed his actions and when she was done he handed her his spare gun that he normally wears in his boot. She knew that he knew that this was bad.


End file.
